The Importance of Superior Firepower

The Importance of Superior Firepower

Weiss turned to Ruby. “How exactly does this game work, again?”

Ruby sighed. Weiss must have had such a deprived childhood if she didn’t even know how to play this game. “Look, it’s like this. You’re a foot soldier, so you have two choices: you can either pretend to shoot your gun, or you can pretend to use your bayonet.” Ruby mimed shooting a rifle before miming the use of a bayonet. “Shout ‘bangety bang!’ if you want to shoot your rifle and shout ‘stabety stab!’ if you want to use your bayonet, that way everyone knows what’s happening.”

“Right…” Weiss frowned. “But I still don’t understand why we’re pretending when we have actual weapons that we can use.” She nodded at Crescent Rose.

“Because it’s more fun this way. Nobody ends up with holes.” A smirk crossed Ruby’s lips at the distinctly unimpressed look Weiss gave her, and her tone turned teasing. “What, are you afraid that you can’t play a game that even children can play? Are you afraid you’re going to lose?”

The heiress’s eyes narrowed in truly ominous fashion. “Oh, I’ll play this game, and I’ll win. Just. You. Watch.”

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Despite her reservations, Weiss found herself enjoying the game. Ruby had invited Team JNPR to join them, and the two teams had turned one of the recreation rooms into a makeshift battlefield with the couches, tables, chairs, and other pieces of furniture serving as the terrain.

Ruby was the leader of a team also featuring Nora, Ren, and Jaune while Weiss was on a team with Yang, Pyrrha, and Blake. Quite frankly, Weiss liked her odds.

“Bangety bang!” Weiss cried, aiming her pretend rifle at Jaune and mowing him down with utter ruthlessness.

The blonde “died” in suitably gruesome fashion, throwing his arms up and spinning in a slow circle before collapsing onto one of the couches. It didn’t take long for Nora to sort of avenge him.

“Rockety rocket!” Nora shouted, shooting a pretend rocket launcher and wiping out Yang in a hellish inferno of imaginary flame. “Rockety rocket!”

“Planety plane!” Pyrrha had her arms extended to either side as she darted about the room. “Planety plane!

Unfortunately for the redhead, Ren was more than ready. “Missiley missile! Missiley missile!”

Pyrrha’s plane exploded in an imaginary shower of mangled, burnt metal. She never got the chance to eject.

Eventually, however, it came down to just Ruby and Weiss. Weiss’s lips curled. She’d always known it would end like this.

Ruby moved out from behind one of the couches, making strange chugging noises as she slowly walked toward Weiss.

“Bangety bang!” Weiss screamed, levelling her pretend rifle and blazing away at Ruby. “Bangety bang!”

But nothing happened. Ruby continued to advance, walking forward slowly and moving her arms around in circles. Was she cheating? Weiss shook her head. No. Ruby was many things, but she was not a cheater.

Weiss waited until Ruby got close and then launched her next attack. “Stabety stab! Stabety stab!” she cried, stabbing away with almost maniacal abandon.

But Ruby simply ignored her and, still smiling, stuck one foot out and tripped Weiss over. Then, quite calmly, she proceeded to sit down on top of Weiss.

“Ruby, what do you think you’re doing?”

Ruby’s reply was very simple. “Tankety tank, Weiss. Tankety tank.”

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Author’s Notes

As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.

This chapter was based on what is arguably my favourite joke of all time. In case you didn’t get it, the joke is that Ruby is a tank, which is why Weiss’s rifle and bayonet have absolutely no effect on her.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.